David Meyer in Hamlet (1996)
Mortie was written on July 6, 2014

wrong production

David Meyer was not in the 1996 production of Hamlet, which starred Kenneth Brannagh in the title role.

Rather, he was in the 1976 version, with Quentin Crisp and Helen Mirren.

Benoît Magimel in Voleurs, Les (1996)
Mortie was written on July 3, 2014

everything seen, but much too fast

Monsieur Magimel is a very attractive young man. The scene occurs much as described by the previous reviewer. A female character threatens to kill herself by leaping out of the window. Magimel's character jumps out of bed, restrains her, and wrestles her to the ground. In the process, he displays both full frontal and full rear nudity, but it is over in a flash. The entire scene runs from 01:00:28 to 01:02:32, but the nudity occurs only between 01:02:10 and 01:02:32.

Daniel Auteuil in Voleurs, Les (1996)
Mortie was written on July 3, 2014

Post-coital scene: buttocks, chest and pubic hair, and the base of his penis

Personally, I do not find Monsieur Auteuil at all attractive. But, if you like him, he puts on quite a good show in a post-coital scene where he takes off his shirt, showers, then moves to the window and dresses. The scene runs from about 20:40 minutes to about 22:02 minutes.

Matthew Goode in Al sur de Granada (2003)
Mortie was written on June 26, 2014

Pretty boy -- sadly, the nudity is quite brief

Goode is a very pretty young actor, with Adonis-like fair features, smooth chest, and a trim figure.

The best flash of frontal nudity comes at 1:24:15, when Goode's character is dancing naked (to a grammophone record) with his girlfriend.

From the brief glimpses available in this movie, his penis appears to be uncircumcised, and somewhat larger than average. His backside is flatter than one might hope for, but very attractive nonetheless.

Also worth noting are:

1:01:50 - bedroom scene with girlfriend (very clear rear nudity but no frontal)

1:05:18 - bathing in river with girlfriend (no real nudity)

1:07:00 - bedroom scene with girlfriend (in boxer shorts)

1:08:45 - ocean skinnydipping scene with girlfriend and another couple (good rear nudity but no explicit frontal)

1:24:55 - bedroom scene with girlfriend (in boxer shorts)

1:27:00 - continuation of bedroom scene with girlfriend (in boxer shorts)

Daniel Guzmán in A Golpes (2005)
Mortie was written on June 26, 2014

Great nudity from a hot actor.

The underwater scene mentioned in a previous review begins at about 14:15 minutes. Daniel Guzmán's entire body, including an (apparently) very large penis, is clearly seen.

At 17:45 minutes, there is a post-coital scene. When Daniel Guzmán rolls off the bed and get dressed, there is more frontal, with a well-lit view of his pubes and an obscured glimpse of his penis.

Commencing at about 31:00 minutes, Daniel Guzmán has a sexual encounter in his old BMW vehicle. It is implied that he wants (and maybe receives) oral gratification, but nothing of note is seen.

Finally, at about 1:05:10, Daniel Guzmán urinates against a fence in broad daylight; but he remains fully clothed with his back to the camera.

David Dencik in Broderskab (2009)
Mortie was written on June 11, 2014

hot bods in nasty movie

I can't say that I like this movie. Skinheads and neo-Nazis disturb me more, even, than suicide-bombing Islamist terrorists. That is probably irrational, I know, as Islamist terrorists are responsible for much more death and destruction. But at least they seem to be driven by a form of religious faith - albeit a form of religious faith which is perverted and ugly - whereas skinheads and neo-Nazis seem to be motived only by anger, cruelty, hatred and jealousy.

Anyway, the seemingly improbably scenario for this movie is a gay relationship which develops between Lars (Thure Lindhardt), an ex-soldier, and Jimmy (David Dencik), a skinkead, at a neo-Nazi training camp.

Needless to say, man-love is not encouraged, or even tolerated, by the neo-Nazi bretheren. Yet, if any one of them had read any history (which, admittedly, seems unlikely) they might have discovered that their movement had its origins with the Sturmabteilung - the "S.A." or "Brownshirts" - which was the original paramilitary wing of the Nazi Party; and that the S.A. was founded and led by a group of homosexuals, the most prominent being Ernst Röhm.

Lindhardt and Dencik spend a fair amount of this movie together, naked and in bed, though actual instances of frontal nudity are quite limited.

Jacques Bonnaffé in First Name: Carmen (1983)
Mortie was written on May 24, 2014

unlikely to be replicated anywhere outside hardcore porn

I am astounded that this extraordinary film does not appear on any of the websites which feature clips and/or still images of male nudity from feature films. Not only is the naked actor (Jacques Bonnaffé) more handsome than many who are featured; this film includes a sequence which you are unlikely to see replicated anywhere outside hardcore porn.

A previous reviewer describes this as 'a very pretentious "art film".' Well, I guess you might call it "very pretentious" to include footage of an extremely hot 24-year-old actor masturbating to climax; but, if so, I am all for more pretentiousness in mainstream cinema !

By the way, Jacques Bonnaffé's dick is also exposed in CRUSTACÉS & COQUILLAGES ("Cockles & Muscles"), aka "Côte d'Azur", where he had a bit-part alongside Edouard Collin and Romain Torres. But you could well be forgiven for not recognising him. That movie was made 22 years later, by which time the handsome 24-year-old had transmogrified into a balding and rather plain 46-year old.

Edouard Collin in Crustacés et Coquillages (2005)
Mortie was written on May 22, 2014

Good nudity; great movie

A superb example of French farce at its most extravagant.

Béatrix (Valeria Bruni Tedeschi) and Marc (Gilbert Melki) are planning a summer vacation for their family on the French Riviera. But both have secret agendas, to meet up with old flames in the seaside village where they will be holidaying.

Meanwhile, Béatrix - whose "gaydar" is obviously a bit erratic - has convinced herself that their son, Charly (Romain Torres), is gay; also, that he is having an affair with a gay school-friend, Martin (Edouard Collin). So she does what any loving mother would do in the circumstances: she invites Martin to join the family for their vacation, where Martin will (naturally) have to share a bedroom with Charly. Marc is not entirely convinced that this is such a good idea, but he is over-ruled.

There is only one problem with Béatrix's plan. Charly, though very gay-friendly in a 21st Century metrosexual kind of way, is not actually gay. And, although Martin clearly has the hots for Charly, the attraction is not reciprocated.

As the movie develops, each of Charly and Martin spend a lot of time in the shower, doing what teenaged boys do in the shower, though with the added frisson of Martin being keen to catch a furtive glimpse of Charly's ablutions. All that Béatrix becomes aware of, however, is the physical horseplay and other overt interactions, in fact perfectly innocent, but which she stubbornly misinterprets as gay sex, and greets with knowing smiles. At the same time, Béatrix - who is not herself enjoying a rewarding physical relationship of her own with Marc - skives off for some liaisons dangereuses with her old boyfriend.

Well, Martin gets a bit tired of Charly's lack of interest in playing "hide the salami" - not to mention his tiresome habit of firmly closing the bathroom door when he retires for an extended soak under the shower - and decides to hit a local cruising ground. Which is fine, except that he meets up with an older man who turns out to be ... wait for it ... Didier (Jean-Marc Barr), the ex-lover of Charly's father, Marc.

Kevin Bishop in Food of Love (2002)
Mortie was written on May 22, 2014

Wrong Movie

These reviews were previously listed with the wrong movie. The correct movie is the 2002 "Food of Love" directed by Ventura Pons, not the 1997 "Food of Love" directed by Stephen Poliakoff (and starring Richard E. Grant).

Kent Osborne in Hannah Takes the Stairs (2007)
Mortie was written on May 21, 2014

Bathing with Trumpet and Strumpet

American director Joe Swanberg, like his British counterparts Peter Greenaway and Derek Jarman, seems quite incapable of making a movie without showing some penis -- even if, in Swanberg's case, it is usually (and regrettably) his own.

In this movie, however, Swanberg's penis remains resolutely -- defiantly, even -- in his own pants. Indeed, that is not the limit of Swanberg's unprecedented restraint, as not a single penis is on display until the movie's final scene.

Then, when we were least expecting it, Matt (Kent Osborne) jumps into the bath to play the trumpet with Hannah (Greta Gerwig), who is the subject of a "love triangle" also involving Paul (Andrew Bujalski). Given the choice, I would have preferred if it had been Andrew Bujalski rather than Kent Osborne naked in the bath with a trumpet and a strumpet; but maybe Bujalski suffers from limited tongue and finger skills when it comes to brass instruments. Anyway, given the stoic flaccidity of Kent Osborne's member, he can hardly be accused of blowing his own trumpet.

Kasper Andersen in Hideaway, The (1991)
Mortie was written on May 15, 2014

correction

This review has been attached to the wrong movie.

The correct movie is the 1991 Danish production, "Møv og Funder" (The Hideaway), directed by Niels Gråbøl.

Instead, this review was posted with the 2009 French production, "Le refuge" (Hideaway), directed by François Ozon.

Allan Winther in Hideaway, The (1991)
Mortie was written on May 15, 2014

correction

This review has been attached to the wrong movie.

The correct movie is the 1991 Danish production, "Møv og Funder" (The Hideaway), directed by Niels Gråbøl.

Instead, this review was posted with the 2009 French production, "Le refuge" (Hideaway), directed by François Ozon.

Christien Anholt in Preaching to the Perverted (1997)
Mortie was written on May 15, 2014

mikey2's review is somewhat misleading

It is true that Christien Anholt is a very, very attractive actor.

It is also true that, unfortunately, he shows very little in this movie.

However, the claim that "there's loads of other nudity mainly from the guys, rear and frontal" is a gross exaggeration. There are one or two instances of distant frontals from undistinguished extras, and a few tired old bums hanging out of leather outfits, but "loads of other nudity mainly from the guys, rear and frontal" there certainly isn't.

Bobby Kendall in Pink Narcissus (1971)
Mortie was written on May 8, 2014

"nothing exceeds like excess"

Unquestionably, Bobby Kendall was very pretty (see the still, below). And, unquestionably, this movie provided him with plenty of opportunities to display his masculine charm in all its unadorned glory: full frontal, with and without an erection.

But that is the sum total of what this movie has to offer, beyond proving positively (if it were necessary) the truth of Al Jourgensen's observation that "nothing exceeds like excess".

It is little wonder that the writer/producer/director -- rumoured at the time of release to be Andy Warhol, though it was in fact James Bidgood -- chose to be credited as "anonymous". And it wouldn't be hard to believe that Liberace was responsible for the set design and decor.

Eric Wedekind in Liebesspiele junger Mädchen (1972)
Mortie was written on May 7, 2014

The parade of the pricks.

This is one of those stereotypical, excruciatingly unfunny, German "sex comedies" from the 1970s. But this one is actually a bit different.

Instead of a fat, balding, old man with a moustache and double chin doing all the heavy lifting, this time the producers spent some time and money to find younger -- and tolerably good-looking -- male performers. But, in case you are missing him, the fat, balding, old man with the moustache and double chin is there too -- only, in this movie, he is playing the father of one of the younger performers; and, mercifully, he manages to keep his pants on for most of the movie. By the way, I have sometimes wondered if it is always the same fat, balding, old man with a moustache and double chin, or whether there was a casting agency in Germany in the 1960s and 1970s which specialised in finding fat, balding, old men, with moustaches and double chins, to perform in "soft porn" movies.

Here, the highlight is surely the locker-room scene, where all the younger male cast members run in succession out the door -- i.e., towards the camera -- with their cocks swinging in the breeze. It could well be entitled "the parade of the pricks". I strongly recommend watching this segment in slow motion, so as to study it more carefully.

Also well worth a look is the final segment, where the youngest and most innocent-looking of the male cast -- I presume it is Eric Wedekind; he could barely be a day over 18 -- strips off in preparation for a quick "how's your father" with his girlfriend.

Maximuk Andrey in Karate Boys (2005)
Mortie was written on May 5, 2014

Don't Bother

This is one of a series of movies produced in Eastern Europe for the gay paedophile market, with lots of naked adolescent boys, although nothing "hard core".

Take care in buying or downloading such movies, as there have been prosecutions in the United States and Canada (amongst other countries) for possessing such "kiddie porn".

Kudelko Ivan Karlovich in Karate Boys (2005)
Mortie was written on May 5, 2014

Don't Bother

This is one of a series of movies produced in Eastern Europe for the gay paedophile market, with lots of naked adolescent boys, although nothing "hard core".

Take care in buying or downloading such movies, as there have been prosecutions in the United States and Canada (amongst other countries) for possessing such "kiddie porn".

Sasha Tkuchuk in Karate Boys (2005)
Mortie was written on May 5, 2014

Don't Bother

This is one of a series of movies produced in Eastern Europe for the gay paedophile market, with lots of naked adolescent boys, although nothing "hard core".

Take care in buying or downloading such movies, as there have been prosecutions in the United States and Canada (amongst other countries) for possessing such "kiddie porn".

Vitalik in White Tail River (1999)
Mortie was written on May 4, 2014

Don't Bother

This is one of a series of movies produced in Eastern Europe for the gay paedophile market, with lots of naked adolescent boys, although nothing "hard core".

Take care in buying or downloading such movies, as there have been prosecutions in the United States and Canada (amongst other countries) for possessing such "kiddie porn".

Roman Vuychislavovitch in White Tail River (1999)
Mortie was written on May 4, 2014

Don't Bother

This is one of a series of movies produced in Eastern Europe for the gay paedophile market, with lots of naked adolescent boys, although nothing "hard core".

Take care in buying or downloading such movies, as there have been prosecutions in the United States and Canada (amongst other countries) for possessing such "kiddie porn".

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